Grand Rounds, Vol.6, No. 50: Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Ah, fall. That wonderful season when the heat recedes, the leaves descend, the children go back to school…and the pennant races heat up. Once again this year my Phillies are in the thick of it, so as the host of Grand Rounds I avail myself of the privilege of dragging you all down to the ballpark with me.

If we get there early enough, we can watch batting practice. Find a seat down in the empty stands, put our feet up, maybe even slip off our shoes to admire our spiffy teal toenail polish, courtesy of Ramona Bates at Suture for a Living.

Right before the game starts we stand, doff our hats and listen to our national anthem, during which we can also pass the time by reading about an important HHS announcement, thanks to Occam Practice Management.

Here comes the first pitch, about a potentially promising new cancer treatment, from Dr. Pullen.

I don’t know about you, but I say it’s time to get a beer. Or some opium, whatever floats Dr. Vitelli’s boat.

Hey, look: Jimmy Rollins got a base hit. That’s the key to the game: the basics. Just like the physical exam, according to Medical Lessons.

I wonder if he’ll try to steal second. Talking about stealing makes me think about lawyers and lawsuits, like Eric Turkewitz, and (maybe) Michael Douglas.

Wow, look at Jayson Werth’s line drive. Strong and steady, that’s the ticket; kind of like how primary care has become like treading water. At least that’s how Dr. Steve Simmons sees it.

Now what? Looks like the next batter has hit into a double play, a two-fer from Dr. Bob Centor about the quiet rebellion in primary care.

Would you like to come with me to get a hot dog? A nice, home-grown treat, could have something to do with why medical graduates tend to stick close to home, according to the ACP Internist.

Check out Ryan Howard catching that pop fly. Just as effective as palliative care at improving quality of life, per Amy Berman at Health AGEnda.

Looks like the next batter is about to strike out, just like the connection between positive thinking and cancer survival. Surprise: turns out it can’t be shown, thanks to Highlight Health.

Time to get another beer, even though it looks like this guy may already have had one too many; at least, that’s what Happy the Hospitalist says.

Look at that: an intentional walk, also known as a base on balls. It sure does take balls to come right out and say that depression is not an illness. See for yourself, although I admit that I disagree with Dr. Philip Hickey.

Oh, no; now that guy just stole second base. Hm, I don’t suppose stealing has anything to do with private health care in the UK. Of course not. Cockroach Catcher knows they all afford those Porsches all on their own.

Yikes, the next batter was just hit by a pitch. That wasn’t a very good idea on the part of that pitcher. Whitecoat shares another bad idea as well.

Oh my GOD, what a stupid call! Are those umpires blind?!? Actually, I guess the umpires must feel a little like residents, the way Academic OBGYN says they get yelled at.

Long drive to deep left field; it goes over the head of the left fielder and bounces out of play. It’s a ground rule double. Who decided that a ball which bounces out of play should be a double? Why not a triple? Why doesn’t the runner just stay on the nearest bag? No one ever asks these questions, just like they don’t ask questions of their doctor, according to Stephen Wilkins of Mind the Gap:

That’s it for Cole Hamels. Time for a pitching change. Kind of like how looking at things differently can help you discover good things coming from bad, like what good can come from pain, from How to Cope with Pain.

The big guy is up; it’s the clean-up hitter. And whomp it he does: DrRich is at it again (welcome back), mincing no words about his predictions of how health care reform is really going to shape up.

What’s this? The next batter is squaring for a bunt. He’s got it down! It’s a roller, just down the third base line…much like Beth when she finally realized she was an attending after already being one for a month.

I don’t know about you but I’m going for yet another beer, and I don’t care what anyone, even Maxine (via Henry Stern), has to say about it (or health care reform either).

Now that it’s the middle of the seventh inning, it’s time for the so-called seventh inning stretch:

It certainly feels good to get up and stretch after sitting for so long. Know what else feels good? Treating yourself at least as well as you treat others. Thanks Dr. Meek.

After all that beer, I’ll bet no one’s surprised that I have to go excuse myself. In the meantime, I’ll leave you to read about bongi (the South African guy allergic to capital letters) and his adventures with, who else, the urologists.

Who’s up next? I don’t recognize him. Must be the new pinch hitter. Poor guy, starting with a new team like this. Starting anything new can be scary, but never fear; Greg Friese has some words of advice.

All right now. Here we go. It’s all or nothing. Bottom of the ninth, Phillies down by three. I can hardly breathe. Never fear: thanks to Dr. Kimberly Manning, we get to end Grand Rounds with a grand slam home run of a post, beautifully written, Life at Grady, to Admit or not to Admit.

Whew, what a game. For those of you who just can’t get enough of baseball Grand Rounds, you can always go check out Sports Center Feedburner, Facebook, Twitter, and Delicious, for more Grand Rounds, all the time.

We hope you’ll join us for next week’s game edition of Grand Rounds at Bedside Manner, written by Julie Rosen, Executive Director of the Kenneth B. Schwartz Center.