Posted by: notdeaddinosaur | January 10, 2015

Too Many Notes*

Doc, can you write me a note?

All depends; what for?

1. I forgot to get a note for work (or school) when I was in to see you yesterday.

No problem.

2. I’ve been out sick for three days. Just a cold, nothing you can really help me with, but my work (school) insists on a doctor’s note.

Sure, I can do that. Some employers can be really anal about doctors’ notes.

3. Can you write me a note to go back to work after an injury that was treated by another doctor?

No, sorry. You have to go back to the other physician (ortho, workman’s comp doc) for that.

4. I’m looking for another job and I have an interview tomorrow. Can you write me a doctor’s note for my boss so they don’t find out?

Um, no. That’s called lying. Figure out something else (that doesn’t involve me.)

5. I’m in nursing school and I don’t want them practicing blood draws on my right arm. Can you write me a note?

You don’t need a note; you need a backbone transplant. Just say no.

6. [Woman diagnosed with flu] Can you write a note telling my husband I need to rest?

Absolutely. No cooking, cleaning, or housework for six weeks. Here you go!

*With apologies to Amadeus.



  1. I have lymphedema in my left arm. You’d be surprised at how many people get pissy when I tell them they can’t use that arm for blood pressures or draws. Even in the hospital, with a large pink sign above my bed that said “Left side lymphedema. Do not use for blood draws or pressures” I have had to argue with the med tech about using another part of my body. I doubt your note would have been of much use for her.

  2. On the last one, my husband’s comment was that ours would do one for me for a few days, then call my husband to remind him, “make sure she gets up and move around. Don’t let her sit too long or she will relapse.”

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