Posted by: notdeaddinosaur | June 15, 2014

“Energy” Does Not Mean What You Think it Does

Every time I think I’ve seen it all, something new blows me away:

Energy wataah

For those with trouble reading the fine print, this is “Energy Wataah”, on the shelves along with regular “Wataah”. As soon as I saw that word “Energy”, I thought “caffeine”. But no. Here’s what that green fine print on the label says:

Forget about caffeine and sugar. Ultra pure water with just enough oxygen is all the clean fuel your body craves.

WTF?

Water and oxygen are both critical for proper bodily functioning, but “energy”? “Energy” or “fuel” for the body comes from calories, found in carbohydrates (like sugar), fat, protein, and alcohol. Nothing else contains calories. Water and oxygen are necessary for burning them properly, but no¬†matter how you twist the semantics, they’re not “energy”.

Here’s the thing, though: anyone know what you get when you add oxygen to water? Anyone?

Hydrogen peroxide. ( 2 H2O + 02 –> 2 H2O2)

Not really. That equation is thermodynamically backward. Bubbling oxygen through water will just give you water with bubbles of oxygen, which will probably come out of solution, collect at the top of the bottle, and escape into the atmosphere the moment you open it.

Besides, drinking oxygen isn’t going to do a thing. Oxygen is transported through the body attached to hemoglobin, a protein found in red blood cells. Red blood cells pick up oxygen when blood flows through the lungs, not through the stomach or the intestines.

This product makes no sense physiologically, chemically, or thermodynamically. Yet somehow this company figures it can get unsuspecting scientific illiterates to fork over six bucks for twelve little bottles of this stuff.

Unbelievable.

Edit: Clearly this is a New England based company. If it were in Philadelphia, they’d call it “Wooder”.


Responses

  1. A fool and his money…

  2. It’s really amazing what some people will tell you and seem to believe. I had a chemist tell me that oxygen is lost when water sits for awhile. Sooo, does that mean it isn’t H2O anymore?

  3. I’ll never forget the first time my pop saw bottled water for sale. And the hits just keep on coming. I don’t know that suffering through the depression was worth the life-long lesson, but sometimes I think we all might have benefitted from a little bit of reality.

  4. I don’t care, I’m going to have some oxygenated water for the energy and have some blueberries for the anti-oxidants.

  5. Wait, wasn’t super-oxygenated water the stuff Canter and Siegel were peddling, after their green-card scam was shut down?

  6. A few years ago, I grabbed a flyer at one of my local markets that was advertising their new “micro-water.” I remember that it claimed various advantages and benefits, but I’ll have to see if I kept it before I can say what they were.


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